Life as We Know IT...

WARNING: Emotional Stuff. Read at your own risk

I now know that Law and Me weren't meant for each other. That it was only attraction and not love. That it was a mistake. WE were a mistake. A mistake which I can never rectify.

This place is another thing which was never meant to be right for me. The people here can never be mine. Everything is farce. You've heard that saying, 'All that glitters is not gold', right? I never paid attention to it. I know, My Mistake. I should have thought a little longer. I should have waited a little longer. 

Mean and Selfish is how I'll term the people here. Not to mention Materialistic. I am no saint. But the people here are a notch higher. Everything for them revolves around 'ME'. 

How I wish now, I had never chosen law as a career. How I wish now that I had never come to this godforsaken place. 

Thirteen months and I am still waiting for my life to get back on track. For me life was never easy but it was never this difficult. Everyday is a new challenge. It takes every once of courage to prepare myself for the college. College gives you exposure. Yes. It shows you how weird, selfish, self-centered and totally unpredictable people are. 

Attachment is a bad thing. You should never, never, EVER get attached to people. Coz, it is YOU who'll get hurt. Personal Experience. When people say you're their priority, they mean you're their priority till the time there comes in their life, something better. Priorities change. Life is not always the bed of roses you imagine it to be. I learnt it the hard way. 

For once when I thought that life has finally changed, for better and then BOOM, the illusion is broken. Yes, I know, I assume a lot. For example, I assume that my love and care for certain people is reciprocated back, that I mean some thing in certain people's lives and that is the reason when assumptions break it Hurts! 

Too much ho gaya na? ;)

Listening to: Numb

Feeling: Numb

Leaving Home.

As I write this, a lot of things are going on in my head which is aching. I am leaving for Dehra Dun tomorrow, early morning. And you're no genius if you think I am sad. I am devastated. I don't want to go back but then I also want to go back. It was fun staying at home, doing nothing except reading, sleeping, eating, watching crap on Television, irritating Mom, becoming a total loafer with friends and going for long walks with Dad. The only non-fun part was putting on tonnes of weight. But that's excusable. It not that I have a boyfriend who's gonna complain about my weight. But wait. This can.... Aah, forget it.
These three months have been totally awesome. My wish was my parents' command. I just had to say and it was done. I have had a lot of fights with Mum in these three months. "Go back to your hostel and don't come back." She had said once. Now, when I am finally going, packing my bags and stuff, she is crying her heart out and it kills me to see her cry. Dad on the other hand, is quiet; not saying a word.
I don't wanna go. No. No. NOoooooooooooo!!!
Although I'll be back in October for a week. Still. I am gonna miss mum and dad, my brother, my sister cum devil and her daughter, who's kept me on my toes, the entire vacation, not to mention my super cool jiju.
Life in Dehra Dun is fun, without a doubt and there's no one to keep a check on me and I totally enjoy my life there but life at home is fun too. I now understand why my Di cried everytime she left for hostel.
Forgive me for writing I dunno what. I am not emotionally stable right now so the writing has gone a little weird or whatever.
I have fever, cold and severe body ache. All I want to do right now, is sleep but I have packing to do. I can't postpone it anymore.
I am a very emotional person and sometimes very expressive but I am not expressive enough today. I can't tell Mum that I am gonna miss her. That every time I get up late in the morning, I will be expecting someone to shout at me, that every time I eat, I'll miss the food she cooks.
Oh No. This is making me cry so I better stop. 

I'm Not Twenty Four...

*This book will be enjoyed by all* -Times of India

*A must read* - Red FM

*Check it out* -MTV

Am I here to review the book? Am I here to criticise the book? No. I am here to tell you how awesome this book is. The book was out in September,2010 and I read it now. In August, 2011 and had I not read it, I seriously would have missed reading a masterpiece. 

The story is about a typical city girl, Saumya, who's placed with a leading company in a small town in Northern Karnataka, Toranagallu. Her life changes drastically. 

*How does a typical city girl, born and brought up in Delhi survive in a small town of Karnataka?

**What happens when she finds that the work she is doing will have an emotional effect on her?

***What happens when she meets an Indian hippie who stays at a place for three months and then leaves and falls in love with him?

****How does she cope with the loss of a friend?

Honestly, after I read the book I was left speechless. If you didn't know that the author is a guy, you'd never believe that the author IS a guy after you've read the book. No double meanings. 

The narration is by the female protagonist, Saumya. 

There is not one small point where the reader will get bored. The story is as interesting as it can get. It has everything that it should have. Beautifully written, awesome story-line, one of a kind. 

Hats off to Sachin Garg. Trust me, it is the best that I've read by an Indian author! 

So all you people out there who read this blog of mine and have not read the book yet, go grab a copy. And, you'll get it at a discount on Flipkart.com 

Here's the link:  http://www.flipkart.com/books/9380349213?_l=CJHVEqJO3veuHytbACc9dw--&_r=Lbz3Xy7QdGEHDhFUAKD3ew--&ref=7f58af39-a537-413b-ad09-947d83953d08&pid=it33f9nqrh

P.S.: I would have given you my copy to read but then I believe this is one of those books which you must, MUST have. So buy it and I promise you'll love it. 

For those who've read it, let me know what you thought about it! :)

Just Another Woman

She looked at him. Her eyes pleading with him. With quivering lips and a voice unknown to herself she asked him to stop. He did not. With one look at her, he walked out of the small house. She knew he'd come again. The darkness will bring him back but she also knew that the morning light will take him away from her. 
The sun shone brightly outside. She felt the mocking rays on her skin. It was light outside. It was darkness which engulfed her. 
Rolling over to the other side of the bed, she took in the faint smell of his lingering perfume and tears welled into her eyes. She couldn't face him. She couldn't look into his eyes and behave normally. Like a normal secretary. Like whatever happened between them was nothing but an illusion created in her mind. She couldn't look into those blue eyes and pretend to be happy. She had promised herself that she'd never fall for him. All along she knew that this wasn't real. That whatever happened was for 'fun' and nothing was serious. But her heart didn't understand. Never will.
As she parked her car, another car pulled in beside her. The woman in the next car smiled warmly at her. 
Her intercom rang as soon as she sat on the chair. 
"Kriti, please come in." He said and her heart skipped a beat. 
With apprehension in her eyes and expectations in her heart, she moved towards his cabin. She knocked on the door and entered. Inside was the same woman she had met in the parking area. She was still smiling but this time the smile was not for her. It was for the man who was reciprocating with equal warmth, who had yet not noticed her entry, who was different from the man who had spent the night with her. She cleared her throat and both of them looked up.
"Yes, Kriti. Please cancel the meeting scheduled for today. I am taking Riya for shopping. And, let me introduce you to my gorgeous fiancee." he said carelessly. The woman smiled at her. She could not smile back. 
As if on auto-pilot, she nodded and left the room. Not once did he care to look at her.  His voice echoed in her brain. He was engaged. He was no longer hers. "Stop fooling yourself. When was he ever yours?" a voice asked her. The morning light won't take him away from her because the darkness won't bring him to her. Ever. 
She knocked at his cabin door clutching tightly the envelope in her hands. 
"Come in." came his voice.
The grip on the envelope got tighter as she entered the cabin. 
"It was a pleasure working for you, sir, but I am afraid I will have to resign as a better opportunity awaits me." She said in a surprisingly calm voice, placed the envelope which had her resignation letter and turned to leave the room without waiting for his answer.
She'd seen from the corner of her eyes that he was shocked but she couldn't dare to look him in his eyes. She was afraid she'd tell him she loved him and she had more self-respect than that.
Not once did he try to stop her. She loved him. She also knew that this love was for forever. But she also knew that all along she had been just another woman. With a shattered heart but a head held high she walked out of the office, never to return. 

Grudges... grrr...!!

Up until a few days back, I was supposed to be satisfied with what I have. Now, I am all grumpy and dissatisfied. Don't give me those looks. I am human and I am no stoic. Things do affect me and I am sad right now. Like, really, really, really sad. I hold a lot of grudges. I am very jealous of  a lot of people. And no, I have no problem admitting that. Giving me those 'she-is-mad' looks again, are you? Well, I can't help it. It's 4:49 in the morning and I should have been blissfully asleep, dreaming something romantic, like maybe, being kissed. A friend asked me today, "Being kissed is sooo important to you?" Of course he wouldn't understand. He is not the one who's been in a relationship for three long years and met the boyfriend just thrice and never been kissed. I am the one. So yes, it is a big deal. No more discussions on it. Period. And worst, I am single again! Duh, this is so depressing, innit?
Well, no, this ain't the biggest grudge I have. There are more.
#Why can't I dance, like Shakira? Forget it. Why can't I dance at all?
#Why is it only me who thinks I can sing well? Damn, even my boyfriend (read ex), thought I was horrible. I know, I know. Totally unromantic. :|
#Why am I not a size zero. Well, no. I wouldn't want a size zero but I sure would like to shed a few tonnes. Just kidding. A few kgs will do. You didn't really think I weighed some hundred tonnes. *gasps*
# Why am I NOT witty? Damn. It irritates me like hell. I always get the right reply after a few hours. Daaahhhh...
#Where the hell was I when God was giving people 'sense of humour'? I must  have been 'Facebooking'!
#Why am I NOT a topper? No forget it. I don't want to be  a topper. Yeah, yeah. Sour Grapes.
# Why isn't my hair naturally straight? Seriously. Frizzy, unmanageable hair is so not cool.
#Why the hell did my straightener burn? :( I miss it. R.I.P though.
#Why am I SO lazy? Now, this is a question everyone asks me. Well, it comes Naturally. I don't have to try.
#Why does the guy I have a crush on considers me 'just a friend' ? I mean, Seriously. Haven't I given enough hints.
#Why can I not use Photoshop? Don't ask me to learn to do it. I have tried, like a zillion times. I guess, I am destined to look ugly, even in my pictures. =(
#Why don't people follow my blog or comment on my posts? Don't tell me, 'Because sweetie, you don't write well enough.' Oh please don't say that. It's the only thing I think I can do well. Even if it's a bubble, don't burst it. Thank you.
Has anyone ever read my blog? Come on! Let me know that I don't write to walls. Thank you so much! I think I should hit the sack now. It is already light outside and I can hear the birds.

Time: 05:14 a.m.
Mood: Frustrated
Listening to: Morning after Dark by Timbaland
Looking forward to: September

Love at Fist Sight

"You're late." 
"I know. Ooh! Who's she?" Devak pointed towards the girl on stage.
"If you were a bit more regular to the classes, you would have known." Sonal reprimanded.
"Yeah, yeah! Now tell me who she is. Gorgeous isn't she?"
"Of course she is. She is Satwika. She joined the college a bit late. Ain't she an amazing dancer?"
Satwika. He was smitten. Instantaneously. Even from a distance he could see her clearly and he obviously liked what he saw.
The dance finished and the audience applauded. There were loud cheers and hootings. 
"And the title of Miss Fresher goes to Satwika Khanna."
All this time his eyes were searching for her but she was no where to be found. A lot of people had come to talk to him but he hardly noticed. His eyes were searching for the one girl who probably had his heart now. As she climbed the stairs of the stage, he looked at her with mesmerized eyes. His eyes followed her actions. He was bowled over. He pushed and nudged his way to the front and stood there just a few feet away from her. She was short and petite and absolutely gorgeous. Her eyes arrested him. Big, bright and expressive lined with kohl. She had the cutest nose in the world and the most dazzling smile he had ever seen. She wore the pink dress she wore for the dance and she looked all feminine and delicate. Holding a bouquet of lilies and daisies and roses, smiling that dazzling smile for the camera and beaming for her friends, she looked surreal. She had long hair tied in plaits and a stray of hair was constantly troubling her left eye. He had never believed in love at first sight, until now. He felt restless and stared at her. Suddenly, as if feeling his eyes on her, she looked down at him from the podium. For a moment, her eyes were fixed at him. She felt as if she was in a trance, then slowly she looked away from him. 
She vanished and he feared that she had left when he saw her. She was there, with her friends laughing at something, holding her bouquet. Her eyes were twinkling and her cheeks were flushed. She had changed into a black and white knee-length wrap-around. Her hair was open and he noticed they were shorter. She looked so cute, his heart melted and his feet carried him to her. 
"There you are. Where did you vanish? I've been looking for you." Diksha asked him as he came nearer. 
"I, umm..., I was just talking to a few seniors." he replied, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Anyway, meet Miss Fresher, the chhota packet, bada dhamaka. Our very own Satvika Khanna." she said animatedly.
"Did you by any chance cut your hair?" he asked genuinely intrigued and everyone burst out laughing.
"It was a wig, silly. I was wearing it for the dance." she smiled.
For a while, they just looked at each other. 
"I've never seen you in the college." 
"I've not been to the college a lot, lately. I heard you joined the college a little late."
"Yes, I did." she said matter-of-factly.
Not-so-surprisingly Devak became a regular. They came closer to each other. Numbers were exchanged. They sat next to each other during the lectures and were very close but they were not going out. They were not dating each other. He never brought up the topic and neither did she. He was not sure of her feelings and she wasn't sure of his. 
It was  the last paper of the end-semester and they were revising on the phone.
"Enough! No more of these charters and policies please. 1686 and 1726. Uf..!" Satvika cried in frustration.
She was frustrated, more because Devak had still not asked her for a date. It had been almost a year. The first year was at its end and he still hadn't asked her out. This was getting on her nerves. She had gone on a date with Rohan, the CR of their class but it didn't seem to affect Devak.
"Satwika?"
"What?" 
"I was just wondering if you could come with me to Archies tomorrow after the paper. I have some work and then we can go for lunch or something." he said.
"Who all are coming?" she asked expecting a truck load of names but he kept silent. She checked the phone to see if he had disconnected but he was there.
"Hello?" she said.
"Err.. No one else. Just you and me." he said sounding a bit nervous.
"Are you asking me for a date?" her voice deadpan but inside she was bubbling with excitement and happiness. 
"Yeah, kind of." his voice skeptic.
"You're such a moron. I thought you'd never ask me." she said happily.
"So is that a yes?"
"No. I didn't say yes. I will think about it." she said seriously.
"Umm.. think about it?" 
"Yes. Now back to the plan of 1772." she said, inwardly giggling.
After a few minutes of discussing various plans Devak said, "I think we should get some sleep. It's almost four."
"Yeah, you're right." she replied stifling a yawn.
"Good Night." he said.
"Good Night."
But none of them disconnected. 
"Umm.. Satwika?"
"Yes, Devak?" 
"I am waiting for an answer."
"Oh! I thought you had forgotten about it." 
"I didn't."
"I will."
"What?" his reaction made her laugh.
"I'll come with you tomorrow." 






A happy beginning! 

Attempts..!

Okay! This is like, the tenth time I am trying to post something new. Trust me every topic that I chose to write on was nothing less than A-W-E-S-O-M-E, but every time I stopped after the third line. What do you call it? Umm.. writer's block? Maybe. But I am determined to post this one. Eeep! I am already going blank! What was it that I wanted to post here? Tell me, this is normal. That I am not suffering from some kind of Short term memory loss. Apparently, the tenth topic was something which would have labelled me a perv. ;) While I am writing this, Google Plus is still loading. It's been doing that since the last fifteen minutes. 

Wasn't Google Plus supposed to be a revolution in the world of social networking sites? You go on  Google Plus and you'll see these short videos where Google plus is pushing Facebook into a well or beheading it etc, etc.. What's the whole point? Everyone knows, Google Plus is a failure. At least I think so. Mark Zuckerberg sometimes really gets weird ideas, I don't know from where, like changing the chat and stuff but he is awesome.

Oooh! Finally! Google Plus is ready to use. 

Aah! I'll tell you a joke. :D

The warden thinks that I need to gain weight! Hahahaha! Right. Just like Bill Gates needs more money! Every time I skip a meal or don't go to the mess on time she's there knocking on my door... "Anuranjani, go and eat." This really annoys me. I mean, okay, she is caring and stuff but I need someone to tell me to eat less not force me to eat ten times a day! 

My mom thinks I need to study more.  As if I don't study a lot already. Okay, no. I don;t study enough. I am trying, okay. And dare you say anything about me not making it to Harvard. :|

Dad thinks I need to sleep less to study more. Wow! How can someone sacrifice something as vital as their sleep!? I asked dad the same question. He said, "I am not asking you to sacrifice your sleep. But you can do with 10 hours of sleep instead of 16!"  What? I only sleep that much during vacations. Mostly.

My sister thinks I need to lose weight. She thinks I am baby elephant! I don't know why everyone I know tends to exaggerate things to such an extent.

My friends think I need to give them more time. Honestly, if I gave them anymore time than I already do, I will  go mad. Crazy people, they are. Okay, I admit, I am the craziest of all. Still!

I think I NEED a boyfriend. :|

I don't know what I have written here. But whatever it is, It is AWESOME. No arguments. Period.

Listening to: Till We Ain't Strangers Anymore by Bon Jovi!

Trying to: Write a Book! :|

Eating: Something like jelly. 

Waiting for: SEPTEMBER!!! :August should skip! :D