Alcholic Me.

Alcohol transports me into a different world altogether. I cry, I laugh, I talk, I complain, I am sarcastic(which I usually am not :( ) and I get all senti. I am at my best worst when I am drunk. I have never been drunk, really. One peg/shot is enough for me. It has this strange effect on me. Everything seems beautiful ugly. I find no faults in everyone. I am carefree stupid, confident and awesome weird.
I was talking to my dad this evening when he asked me, "So, what birthday plans?" and I was reminded of a birthday party, where I had a peg of Whiskey. Royal Challenge 350 or something of the sort. That was the day, I swore off alcohol. I had a shot of Vodka once and I had behaved, the exact same way I behaved that day. I had always believed that it was Vodka. With 70 percent alcohol content, what else do you expect? But, no. It's alcohol. I go crazy. I remember laughing madly for about eight minutes, without break., without any reason., at all. Yes, My friends were seeing the watch. I would have posted a photo of that day but my laptop's crashed.
I don't really remember what happened that day but I have my friends to remind me of all the stupidity. I remember staring at a cute guy with a date. That earned me some really nasty stares from the girl, though.
This is what happened at the party.
                                                      

Me *trying to stand up*: I'll be back.
Friend 1: Where are you going?
Me *Still struggling*: The Washroom
Friend1 to Friend 2:  I think you should go.
Me *Raising my left  right hand: I am not incapable, okay?

After I came back from the washroom, where I was followed by my friend like a detective, I sat still, staring at my friend, who by the way is insanely hot.
He: Anu?
Me: Yes.
He: The food is there.
Me: You look yum!
*IMAGINE* I said THAT. TO HIM. I still cannot look him in the eyes. :|

A few minutes later, something else had my attention. This time, I wanted to act. I wanted to show my friends how my political science teacher walked and talked. EeeeEEEEEeeeee! Seriously, he is so funny. :D
But, I was stopped because of this conversation.
Friend: What's that thing on your plate, Anu?
Me *flashing a broad smile*: Chicken.
Friend: Isn't it yummy?
Me: Totally.
Friend: You want more?
Me: YESSSSS!!!!
Friend: Then finish it off. Quick.
Me: *starts eating*

When I came out of the restaurant, there were a few beggars. Now, I always have a soft corner for these poor people. I gave one of them my wallet, that had my debit card, my Driving License and Dad's credit card. Not to mention, eight hundred rupees.


Don't worry I got that wallet back. :D

P.S.: I swore off alcohol that day.

P.P.S.: I don't know why am I not able to upload pictures. :'(

Confused Confession

I changed my blog's name. I changed my blog template too. For the simple reason that this suits me more. I am one confused character. My BFF calls me the confused-est person on Earth. I have always agreed to it, silently, never accepted it. But, it's time now that I did. Time now thatt I confessed to it. Yes, I am confused. To the core. Simple things confuse me. When it comes to choices, I leave them on the people I trust. And, when it is absolutely necessary for me to make a choice, well,  it takes me an eternity to make one. 

From simple things like, choosing the colour of paint for my room to important life-changing decisions like choosing the right guy for myself, I always find some thing, some small point and manage to get confused. And, so I have decided, never in my life, will I even think of  love marriage. Yesterday evening my BFF said, It's an art which only you know. Only you can get confused this easily and to that extent. I mean "what to eat first?" Seriously? Take a bow Anuranjani Verma. 

                                                              

It's my birthday in a few days and, no, I am not confused about that. :P

This thing, this confusion is like an ever-haunting problem. Something I can never get rid of. Sometimes I get totally frustrated with myself. My head aches and I want to throw away, leave everything and run away to a place where there never arises a chance of any decision to be made and I can live peacefully. 

Anyway, it is my birthday in a few days (yeyeyeye! ahem!) and Ma's getting me new clothes. [Clothes are her department and the rest- Dad's!]  She asked me this morning, What do you want for your birthday? Something traditional or like always-Jeans?

I sighed and since I did not want to think and I wasn't even sure as to what I really wanted, I said, BOTH. Only if all the decisions in life were so simple.

When a year and a half ago, I had to decide between English Honours and Law, I chose law. Again, I sometimes do regret choosing law since Literature was always my love. 

This or that. Here or there. 

I called up my best friend in the morning and we were talking about some cute guy in her college when all of a sudden, she said: Thank God, You aren't confused between Him and Her. 

Now, That is insulting! :|

                                              

The Final Good-Bye

Finally a time to say good bye
A time to let you go
A time to accept that you do not belong with me
That we were not meant to be.
I knew that this would come
One day or the other.
But reality is so different from imagination,
Life is so short, so unpredictable
Full of twists, turns and it's own funny games.
You meant the world to me.
Oh God! you still do.
I can't say goodbye however hard I try
I just can't let you go
But I know I will have to
Coz you're not mine!
Tears drop, heart breaks
but I know I have to understand
that we are not meant to be
only if it was all so simple.
will you be mine was the question i asked
'I cannot be yours" was the answer you gave
And came the world- toppling, tumbling down on me
I still will say
"Beside you you will find me always--
No Complains No Demands"
My love is a little selfish
It wants the whole of you
I want to be with you
But can never bear seeing you upset, sad or distressed.
I wish I really had got that second chance
But probably there's no second chance in love.
can't say you memories are enough
Nothing less than you is enough for me
But,
Since I can't have you..
I'll have to do with the memories. 


P.S.: I wrote this when I was sixteen. I know, kiddish and stupid but back then I thought I was an awesome poet. :P
Yes, this poem is here to prove how terribly pathetic I am when it comes to poetry! :P

The Blue-Eyed Boy

Internship in Mumbai was supposed to be fun. Beaches, discs, shopping, nightlife, movie-sets, etc were the things they had imagined. Extended work-hours, working weekends and no time to breathe was what they got.
Someone has rightly said: Being a lawyer is not an easy job.
It was almost a month and they were yet to get one free weekend and by the time they reached home, they were so tired, there was no scope of any nightlife.
It was a not-so-busy day, that day. They signed into the group chat.

Ananya: He is so freaking cute... ^_^
Ashna: So?
Vyom: Who?  :O
Ashna: The new guy in the office.
Vyom: He's not new. He's on the board of directors.
Ashna: What?!
Ananya: What!?
Vyom: Yes.
Ananya: Whatever! He is cute.
Ashna: What's cute in him? White as milk.  His lips are so pink.
Vyom: Exactly.
Ananya: His smile. The dimple. The voice. Aahhh, I died when he talked to me yesterday. And his EYES!! They are so blue. *_*
Ashna: The only good thing. I like the eyes.
Vyom: GIRLS!!! :x

The next few days were spent in the usual manner. All Ananya talked about was, The Blue-Eyed Boy.
They were sitting in the cafeteria when their blue-eyed boy came to them. Vyom and Ashna excused themselves.
"He asked me for my number." Ananya informed both of them animatedly.
"And, you refused." Vyom teased.
"Ha ha! Funny."

*Blue-Eyed Boy Calling*
"Hello?" Ananya said, holding her breath.
"Hey. I hope I am not disturbing." he said in his honey-smooth voice.
"Not at all." she said.
They talked for about an hour.
"Hey, before I hang up, I want to ask you something." he said.
Was he going to ask her out?
She kept him on hold, danced a little, called Ashna and then resumed the call, putting the phone on speaker.
They both heard with bated breaths.
"Umm.. if you don't mind me telling this. Is your friend single?"
Both their hearts sank. What!? Ashna mouthed. He doesn't even know me. Shucks!
"Err.. Yes." Ananya said, not wanting to talk anymore.
"Good. Because I really like him," he said.

Ananya and Ashna looked at each other. HIM!?

"Excitement mei galat bol gaya hoga yaar," Ashna said.

"Him?" Ananya asked him.
"Yes. Vyom is so freaking cute."

                                                            ----x----
Sometimes life plays silly jokes on people. :P

P.S.: I have no clue what made me write this.

It's you. Forever!

“I can absolutely not understand why my brother has to behave like a complete jack-ass at times. Do you know?” Siya came into the room like a tornado and one look at her told me that the volcano was about to burst!

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

“Okay.” I said and returned back to the safety of the letter.

“Okay? That’s all?” she looked at me and shouted.

How does she manage to shout with double energy every time, is still a mystery to me. I was about to ask what was wrong when she looked at the letter in my hand.

“The letter, huh!” she smiled.

“Don’t torture yourself, baby. Do what you feel like. Life isn’t about thinking so much. It is about doing. If you want to get back with him, then do so. Life is too short to sit and ponder.” She said.

And before I could say something, she went back from the romantic self to the crazy, angry-at-the-moment-self.

“What did he not agree to, this time?” I asked.

“Letting me go out with Saif.” She cried, her big, beautiful, brown eyes filling with tears.

Wow, I am always amazed at her capacity to cry. I mean, no matter what the reason, no matter how trivial a reason, she can cry. Such a drama queen she is. Where does she get all the tears from?

Just then her phone started ringing. Swapnil. Moving out of the room seemed to be the safest option but I couldn’t budge an inch from where I was sitting.  Thankyou Siya.

After a lot of shouting and screaming and crying and fighting, Siya smiled. I knew at the moment that Swapnil had relented.  That she was going out with this Saif guy.  When she kept the phone she gave me a victorious smile.

“Who is Saif, anyway?” I asked, genuinely intrigued by now.

“He.” Siya said pointing towards the laptop screen.

Okay. This guy was hot. Like, really, truly, absolutely hot. I mean, my eyes popped out. Wow. His profile picture on Facebook oozed sexiness. It was something I can never forget. White shirt and blue jeans.  An Indian version of Ian Somerhalder. The guy from the Trueblood Series? Yes. You got it right. Damon Salvatore. And, he was from my college? What? Why had I never seen him? Deep-gray eyes, a smile which left a deep gash in his right cheek and a face which was not shaved for almost about two days, made him absolutely sexy.

“Can I send him a friend request?” I asked Siya, still looking at the profile picture.

“He is mine” she replied.

“Just like all the other guys?” I asked and she stuck out her tongue at that.

“Why have I never seen him?” I asked still looking at the picture.

“Maybe because he is in the College of Engineering Studies and also because you’re too busy thinking about Amey all the time?” She replied.

“Whatever!” I said, still looking at the picture. 

Just then my phone rang. Amey. Everything else faded. I could only see his name on my phone. The conversation lasted for about six minutes, more than what I expected. 

After I kept the phone down, Siya said, "You know what? I think I should wear this one for the date. What d'you suggest?"

"Date?" I asked, confused.

"The one with Saif." she reminded me.

"Saif?" I asked, wondering aloud.

"Forget it." She sighed, made an overly dramatic face and went back to her pile of clothes.

The Lady in My Life

I miss her when she is away. Her smile is the most beautiful, in the world. Her voice is the sweetest. She is The Most Important Person in my Life. She is sweet. She is pretty. She is Cute. She is the most beautiful girl. Her smile takes my heart away. I can hear her speak, forever and ever.
I come back home after months and the first thing I do, is visit her. I am no more tired. When she sees me and smiles- Ahh, that feeling! When she rushes towards me, I can see no one but her.
And, when she says, "I Lubbbbb You," I am the happiest person.

She is my two year old niece- Zara. My princess. My love!     

Love all Along.

He smiled. A smile meant only for her. Her heart skipped a million beats. He had the most amazing smile, in the whole entire world. If smiles could kill, she would have died a thousand deaths by now.

“Thank you.” She muttered as she took the paper from his hands. As the hands brushed and the eyes met, she stopped breathing.

She quickly turned.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.  She commanded herself and took in a deep breath.

They were in the same class. Since the last two years and for the next three!

“Err… Akrishta?” he called out to her.

The paper almost fell from her hands. He knew her name.

Of Course, he does. Silly. You’re both in the same class.

He had this effect on her. Only he did.

“Yes, Ayan?” she managed.

“Would you mind explaining me these questions? I scored zero. See?” He said, making a face, showing her the paper in his hand.

“Umm… Sure!” She said.

“Okay. Meet me in the Food Court after this class?” he asked, smiling.

Food Court. 3 p.m

“You get the point?” she asked him for the tenth time now.

“Na. Not yet.” He replied.

He didn’t because he was not trying to. He was busy listening to her voice. For the first time in the two years that he knew her, did he hear her say so much.

He didn’t want to let this opportunity go. He wanted to tell her. But he knew she did not feel the same for him. In two years’ time she had hardly ever looked at him. He knew the answer. 
This girl had her heart since the first day he had seen her. Every time he tried talking to her, something or the other stopped him.

He gave the thought, another thought. Should he really tell her and accept the rejection which was going to come his way or let it be and never know what she felt?

What the heck! He thought.

“… so the balance of power…” she was saying.

“I want to ask something really important,” he said, with all seriousness.

“Yes?” she asked.

Every time their eyes met, she felt a rush of emotions. Love.

“I love you. Do you love me?” he asked, looking straight into her eyes.

She blinked. And blinked again.

Did he just say what she just heard?

All the while his hands were clenched tightly, in anticipation. Why do girls take so much time to answer? What if she says no?

She said nothing. Her heart was doing flip-flops. It was beating so fast, she thought it’d jump out.

“Yes,” she said meekly. What if she’d not heard him correctly. What if he’d asked something about the “balance of power”?

For the first time in a few minutes, he breathed. For the first time in two years he sighed in relief. For the first time in two years, he looked into her eyes and realized it was love all along. He just had to see it. Love. The most beautiful feeling, ever. Love for him meant her and for her meant him.

They smiled at each other. They held each others’ hands.

His smile still is the most amazing in the whole, entire world and her heart still skips a beat every time he smiles. Only for her.