Tuesday, September 27, 2011


I saw her sitting on the stairs of the hostel. I wondered what she was doing there, in the middle of the night. From where I was standing, I could see her face. She smiled to herself. It was not a happy one. It was a smile of sheer frustration and sorrow. If you thought only tears could move you, you were wrong. Sometimes a smile reflects the sorrow better than a hundred tears. I wondered if I should go and ask her what bothered her, but would she tell her problem to a complete stranger? I took another step towards her. Oblivious of someone watching her, she moved further towards the wall and just when I was about to call out to her, a tear trickled down her cheeks. I decided to ask her what her what the problem was. 
I went and sat next to her. 
"Are you all right?" I asked.
She looked at me for the first time, smiled and nodded. It was the same smile. One of pure sorrow, and this time there was something else. Regret. The face had a pained expression. She seemed lost and confused. Her eyes took my heart away. They were so melancholic that it brought tears to my eyes. I felt lost and helpless and I still had no clue what was going on.
"What's wrong?" I asked softly.
She looked at me while tears filled her eyes once again. She started softly. I had to strain my ears to hear what she was saying.It was, as if, she was talking to herself.
"Have you ever lost a friend who was so much more than a friend?" she asked me and without waiting for a reply, continued.
"I have. Not one. But two. And the sad part is, I cannot blame anyone for it." she laughed and it sent shivers down my spine.
"And the sad part is, I don't have clue as to what exactly they think about me. Hate me? What? I hope things get back to normal.I swear to God that this time nothing will go wrong. I will not let anything go wrong this time." 
I smiled and moved away from the mirror. 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


Caution: A lot of blabbering in this post. Read at your own risk.

I am so sleepy, you'd think I haven't slept for days. The truth is I slept for eighteen hours straight. Probably, that's the reason I am feeling so sleepy right now. Excess of anything is bad, eh? I have college in the morning and I cannot afford to miss it... (I already missed it yesterday).
I am feeling very, very, extremely sleepy right now. Never mind, I'll sleep in the class.
What do you call a person, who hates spending money without any genuine reason but still does? Is there even a word for such a person? I guess not. Or probably is. Anyway, the point of asking this question is to let you know in a very subtle way, that I belong to that category. It wasn't subtle, huh? Damn.
Two birthdays coming this weekend. What do I do? I am broke. Like, completely. Plus, my ATM card is not working. I mean, seriously. Why does God have to play such funny games with me, which by the way are NOT funny to me.
I got really senti this evening, no? Don't worry, that was right after I got up after my eighteen hours of sleep. Happens.
Anyway, Ideas needed. No. Not the SIM cards. Real Ideas. Okay, don't kill me for my Poor Pathetic Jokes and my senceofhumour sense of humour but I warned you in the very beginning that this post can be dangerous to health. And, I didn't know someone actually reads my posts. You do? Well, let me know. Post a comment. Two minutes. That's the maximum it'll take.
I really do get diverted, don't I? Sorry. Now, Ideas. Please. No Money. Two Birthdays. Unavoidable. What do I do? And, I have been invited to both the parties. I can't go without any gifts, can I? Well, actually I can. But I shouldn't.
Arrey, I feel sad! I can't write about serious issues. I don't know what's going on in the world. Well, maybe some vague idea but nothing concrete. People keep asking me why I am so Self-Obsessed. I can't discuss Nuclear Science or for that matter Rocket Science here. And, I don't want to discuss Sonia Gandhi or Rahul Gandhi or Manmohan Singh for that matter. So, it is just me.
I am very insecure. Please, tell me that I write awesome. I feel good when I hear good things about myself which is so rare, I don't remember the last time I felt good.
The exams are approaching. The bad news no.1 is I may get debarred since my attendance is low. The bad news number two is I haven't started studying yet. The good news is, well, there's no good news actually.
The drama club that I am in, is going to perform at two places, IIT-Roorkee and BITS Pilani-Goa Campus. Now someone needs to tell me what role I am playing in it. There has to be something. Maybe.
I have started sleeping more in the classes. 1. I don't attend enough classes. 2. The teacher only sees my face when he is taking the attendance. Otherwise I am always sleeping. I will probably flunk this time.
People in my batch think that I am dating my friend. A guy, of course. Wow. I am finally the hot topic of discussion. Well, it probably is him. Anyway, bad publicity. Me not liking it.
My crush still doesn't know my name, yet! I know, bad. But three months and then I'll be HIS crush! Hah! I know, I said the same thing last month too, but this time you'll see! ;)
It is five in the morning. I don't how, but I will have to get up by eight. Three hours. After eighteen, three seems to be a blink!
Good Night. Good Morning, whatever.
P.S.: Don't forget about the ideas. Do something. Before Saturday. Thank you. Love you. :*
P.P.S: Ignore my pathetic sense of humour, bad grammar, wrong spellings,etc.
P.P.P.S: My room-mate just shouted at me. She is asking me to 'shut the god-damn laptop', so off I go.

Life as We Know IT...

WARNING: Emotional Stuff. Read at your own risk
I now know that Law and Me weren't meant for each other. That it was only attraction and not love. That it was a mistake. WE were a mistake. A mistake which I can never rectify.
This place is another thing which was never meant to be right for me. The people here can never be mine. Everything is farce. You've heard that saying, 'All that glitters is not gold', right? I never paid attention to it. I know, My Mistake. I should have thought a little longer. I should have waited a little longer. 
Mean and Selfish is how I'll term the people here. Not to mention Materialistic. I am no saint. But the people here are a notch higher. Everything for them revolves around 'ME'. 
How I wish now, I had never chosen law as a career. How I wish now that I had never come to this godforsaken place. 
Thirteen months and I am still waiting for my life to get back on track. For me life was never easy but it was never this difficult. Everyday is a new challenge. It takes every once of courage to prepare myself for the college. College gives you exposure. Yes. It shows you how weird, selfish, self-centered and totally unpredictable people are. 
Attachment is a bad thing. You should never, never, EVER get attached to people. Coz, it is YOU who'll get hurt. Personal Experience. When people say you're their priority, they mean you're their priority till the time there comes in their life, something better. Priorities change. Life is not always the bed of roses you imagine it to be. I learnt it the hard way. 
For once when I thought that life has finally changed, for better and then BOOM, the illusion is broken. Yes, I know, I assume a lot. For example, I assume that my love and care for certain people is reciprocated back, that I mean some thing in certain people's lives and that is the reason when assumptions break it Hurts! 

Too much ho gaya na? ;)

Listening to: Numb
Feeling: Numb