I don't know what to call THIS!

I have reasons to be happy and I have reasons to be sad and I am confused. :|
It's my birthday on Sunday. :D Yes, the thirteenth, the "lucky" number, thirteen. 


My parents gifted me a laptop. :D


HP Pavilion, G Series. It is Red and B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L. The screen is 15.6" and I love it but... Yes, here comes the word- But.. I am not getting to take this to Dehradun this time. :| I know, Sad and I could do with a little sympathy. It's been only thirty hours since I got the laptop (yes, I counted the hours) and I am already so addicted to it. I have no clue how I'd survive without my dear laptop. :( The Samsung Netbook that I have seems so small and full of flaws, now. 


Another bad news is, I'd be travelling the entire day, on Sunday. :| So, no birthday celebrations and no party. I know, I know, I'll turn twenty and I should start behaving like a responsible adult but that is just not me. I don't know why people expect me to behave like an adult and stop behaving like a kid all the time, now that I am turning twenty. 


I want to be six again. 


Oh! And I also saw him yesterday. I thought I won't tell anyone in case my chances of seeing him again got jinxed, but What the Heck! As if I'd see him again, if I didn't tell you all.
I went to the park yesterday evening with my two year old niece, Zara. I was my usual self, talking, laughing, playing when I saw him. 


He was standing there, 5'11'', in a blue shirt, blue jeans and white sports shoes. He has the best jaw-line in the world and an oh-so-awesome physique and he kept adjusting his specs while playing with his nephew. Yes, yes, I shamelessly stared at him. He is that handsome. I knew he was un-approachable, just like all the good-looking guys, so I sighed and turned to play with Zara. Hide and Seek- that's what we were playing. She was to hide and I was to find her. She chose him to hide behind.  I thought of ways to bring her back without attracting attention from him. There wasn't any way, so I went from behind and said, caught you, in the lowest possible voice. Zara laughed and ran away. He turned back and looked at me (for about 5 seconds) and smiled as if I was some good chirpy kid. 
It made me uncomfortable. Those 5 seconds made me conscious as to what I was wearing. And the smile. Aaahhh! I almost fainted. Breath-taking, mesmerizing, the cutest I have ever seen. I, as it is, have a weakness for dimples. Ouch! I so wanted to keep standing there, looking at him but obviously couldn't. After what seemed to be my fifth attempt I muttered, "Sorry, that was not meant for you. My niece. She was hiding behind you."
"I know," he said and smiled again. Made me go all weak in the knees. My entire thought process got stuck and suddenly I had no place to look at. 


Isn't this what happens in the movies and books? 


And then I heard my name being called out. Di. She's always there at the wrong time. I rushed towards her. I could feel his eyes on me. 


No. It was NO love at first sight or maybe it was. :| I had never felt this nervousness around anyone, not even for my first debate competition, not even when I went to represent my school for the debate competition, not even for the college interviews. After a long time, I was unable to look into someone's eyes because I was too conscious. 
I was smiling all evening, yesterday coz I saw him. Him as in him, the guy in the park. 
Even when I am writing this post, I am smiling. 


Oh, and this reminds me, I should also tell you that I don't think I am going to see him again for the following reasons, unless God has planned something(I so wish, he has):
1. I don't know anything about him. No, Not even his name.
2. I am leaving for Dehradun, today. So, NO CHANCE.




Therefore, see, I have reasons to be happy and also to be sad. I don't want to be travelling on my birthday. I want to celebrate my birthday, with cakes and balloons and candies and gifts. I don't want to grow up. I don't want people to expect me to behave all grown up and matured. 
I want to take my laptop with me, THIS TIME. 


Most importantly, I don't want to go back. I have already missed a lot of classes and I may get debarred coz I am really low on attendance but I still don't want to go. It's strange. When I was here, I couldn't wait to go out. Couldn't wait for a hostel life. Now, I feel, Home is so much better. God, please do something about my confusion. :| 




P.S.: I never thought this post would get so long. 


P.P.S.: Birthday wishes are always welcome. I love it when someone wishes me Happy Birthday! :D :D


P.P.P.S.: When I am very excited/sad/happy, I talk gibberish, so forgive me for talking gibberish. I am so full of different kinds of emotions right now, I don't know what to do or say or how to say. So I guess, I better shut up.




One last thing! :D
I was about to go to sleep but I decided against it and decided to read the recent post of my awesome fellow bloggers, I follow and guess what! I have been awarded! :D :D
My first ever award! :D

Thank You so much, Serendipity!! :D :D :*