Monday, November 7, 2011

If Only

The eyes that looked back at him were full of love and affection. No. The picture did not do justice to her beauty. The big, beautiful, gray eyes, always lined with kohl, the cute little nose and the nose stud she wore, the naturally pink lips all set in that heart-shaped face made her look like an angel. The smile, the dimples that the smile brought, the way her eyes brightened every time she smiled had taken his breath away every single time he’d looked at her, since the last sixteen years, ever since they were six, No camera in the world, no artist could ever capture her beauty. 
He’d considered himself lucky to have her. To have her love.
She’d promised to stay with him forever. Didn’t she tell him that no matter what, she’d always love him? Hadn’t she promised that even if he wanted her to leave, she wouldn’t because she loved him too much? Didn’t she tell him that she’ll never leave him alone? Then why?
Why did she go? Why did she leave him when he hadn’t even asked her to? Why did she break her promise? Where did the forever go?
He hadn’t asked her to leave. He couldn’t, ever. But, she did. For God wanted her to.
To see someone die is painful. It hurts. To see someone you love more than anything else in the world, die is excruciating.
He blamed himself for her death. No matter what his friends said, no matter how much his parents consoled him, no matter what HER parents said, he held himself responsible. The doctor had declared her brought dead and she’d died with his name on her lips and his hand in hers. He’d seen the pain on her face but he had also seen the love in her eyes.
If only he’d not called her while she was crossing the road. If only he’d not dared her to cross the road, alone. If only he’d not asked her to meet him, that day. IF ONLY.
He looked below. 20,000 feet. He couldn’t even do that. HE couldn’t even die. He knew he couldn’t end his life. The parents-his and hers would not be able to take it. Her parents had lost their only child. His parents would lose theirs if he jumped. 
He walked back to their home. The house she’d wanted since she was nineteen. He knew he’d buy it. Buy it for her. But, there was no her.
He wondered where she was. He wondered if she was watching him. Tears were flowing and he wondered if she was crying with him, wherever she was.
“I don’t want you to cry. Not a single tear, okay? I love you. Always have, always will,” he whispered.

Two month later, he died in a road accident. 


Cяystal said...

OUCH! Though I am pretty obsessed with anti climaxes, I hate em otherwise.
This was poignant .. and the title reminded me of the movie, though this post was way nicer. <3

Confused Soul said...

OMG you gave me goosebumps.. WANNA KNOW WHY. This is a REAL-LIFE STORY FOR ME. One of my girl friends died in a road accident talking to her guy. Later we rushed to the scene, but she was no more. The phone was still in her hand and the guy couldn't do anything. But the guy is still alive, but hasn't recuperated. He still thinks he is responsible for the death. You gave me the chills!

P.S. from a story's point of view.. I really like it.. the pain, the love, all of it !!

Rahul said...

:-) Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooperb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

♫♪♥PhilO♥♪♫ said...

Sometimes people just have to go. They have to leave when the time comes.
A very sad story. It was very touching. Loved it. Your writing is beautiful :)

Atrocious Scribblings said...

A tad dark but well written.

Personally know of someone who lost a loved one in a road accident just like the girl in the story, so for me the message that you sent across was impressive --> Life must go on.

Jane Doe said...

Really touching. Great narrative skills you have. You could induce the pain in the reader. Good one.

Anuranjani said...

Cяystal: Thank You so so much! :D

@CS: OMG! It must be so hard for him. I don't know what to say but certain things just cannot be helped. Like, the death. It was inevitable, wasn't it?
Thank you so much, btw! :)

@Rahul: Thank youuuuuuuuuuu!!! :D :D

@PhilO: Thanks for dropping by. Thank you so much for the compliment! :)

@Atrocious Scribblings: Thank You! :)

@Jane: Thank You so much! :)

Kunal said...

From the story point of is quite painful..When sometimes things happen...and though we are not aware at that time, what will be the consequences of things which we are doing...when something bad is very difficult to forgive ourselves... one goes thru such situations...

Best Wishes..

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

I have no idea why I am in tears. They seem so rare. And this post... beautiful. :) :)

Vinati said...

Good post, Anuranjini. A very disturbing end though!

Anuranjani said...

@Kunal: I too wish, no one goes through this but then alot of people are already going through this.
Thank You! :)

@MSM: Aww, thank you, love. :)

@Vinati: Thank You.:)

siddhant said...