I wonder why I care. I wonder why I get affected by everything you do. Still. It should have been different, after so many months. It is so not. You don’t care, I know. You don’t bother, I know. You don’t even remember I exist, I know. Why do you come back to haunt my dreams? Yes, that is exactly what you do, Haunt! There are so many good memories and so many bad ones too. Every time I come across your name, my heart still skips a beat. Silly Heart!.! Why, oh why, will you not leave me alone? You were everything to me! EVERYTHING! Then why did I not mean anything to you?
Three years and I still couldn’t mean the same to you as you meant to me, still do. You cared once or so you said but you never expressed it. You said I mattered, but did you really mean it? I know you did not. I loved you with all my heart, I imagined our future together. It was all an illusion, just an illusion.
I miss you, a lot. Your smile, your voice, your laugh, your eyes and your love. I know, this last time I walked away but you never tried to stop me, never tried to call me back. Were you happy that you didn’t have to stop me? You probably were. Your happiness always mattered more, will always matter more.
I should move on, I keep saying this to myself. Trying I am. And I hope to succeed! J